Laura had already completed my online Panic Free course.
She wrote:
“I did your online panic course and it eliminated my panic attacks. 8 months going strong!”
But there were other things she wanted to work on.
“Even the idea of someone thinking I’m inadequate… it horrifies me.”
Laura wasn’t just uncomfortable with criticism.
She was paralysed by it.
“I don’t take criticism well. I feel like I’m being attacked.”
She was turning down career opportunities that might expose her to judgement.
She had stopped sharing her work publicly.
“It’s like I’m hiding.”
Alongside this, two other patterns were quietly causing her pain in the background:
Eating and exercise habits that felt stuck, no matter how hard she tried to change them.
And ‘death anxiety’.
“It felt like a pervasive sense that I was losing time… that my life was already half over… and that I was just walking down this dark tunnel toward death.”
We worked together for about four hours, across three sessions.
1. Criticism
We changed how Laura responded to criticism.
Shortly afterwards, she received a low rating on a book she’d been writing and publishing online — something she described as “very dear to my heart.”
She wrote:
“A month ago, any criticism would have been crushing. But my natural reaction to the low rating was to think, ‘Hey, look! People are noticing me!’ and to move on with my life.
It’s strange to say, but I actually felt excited that someone felt strongly enough about what I created to have a reaction — even a negative one.”
No coping strategies.
No trying to reason her way into feeling different.
Just a different automatic response.
We also shifted Laura’s response to her own inner critic.
What happened next wasn’t planned.
2. Eating and Exercise Habits
Her eating and exercise habits changed — automatically.
“I woke up one day and the feelings I had tied up in food and cravings had vanished. It’s been shockingly easy to eat healthier and stick to my exercise schedule.”
We never talked about food or diet. I didn’t even know these things were an issue for her.
Know that old song Dem Bones?
The toe bone’s connected to the foot bone
The foot bone’s connected to the ankle bone
The ankle bone’s connected to the leg bone…
Many human patterns are deeply interconnected.
Shift one stable pattern, and others can spontaneously shift too.
When we shifted Laura’s response to criticism and her inner critic, we weren’t just changing her reaction to feedback.
This is what I call the snowball effect—when a precise change in one area triggers a natural cascade of shifts in connected areas, without conscious effort.
3. Death Anxiety
Being constantly preoccupied with death is a very unpleasant way to live. Films, conversations, the passage of time can all evoke it.
For Laura, it was a constant, ‘dark cloud’ looming over her—and the original reason for working with me.
“I’m happy to say that I’m no longer bothered by mentions of death or dwell on it obsessively. I very much feel like I’m living in the ‘eternal now,’ a feeling I really cherish. I can enjoy movies, books, and experiences that take on death as a subject — with no visceral response or emotional spiralling.”
Three problems.
Three sessions.
Four hours together.
No rehashing the past.
No techniques to remember.
No willpower required.
“I feel like I have my life back — like I’m living as myself, rather than a shadow of myself.”
Unwanted thoughts, feelings, and responses don’t mean you’re broken.
They mean your brain has learned some unhelpful patterns.
And even patterns that have shaped your life for years can often change far more quickly than most people realise.
Another way to understand what happened for Laura across these three sessions is through the three metaphors I use for Automatic Change—tapping, snowballing, and brushstrokes. You can read about all three here.
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